Disciple The Nations (The Final Message)

A Double Portion of God’s Love Poured Out

It is our last night with the young men.  If you count Sasha, Virginia, a UK missionary and myself, then tonight Sasha’s wish of each of us having 12 disciples came to pass.  There were 24 of us this night.   I had miraculously managed to find them all a bible by tonight.  For the first time they all had one with their very own name written in it. 


I prayed and worshiped all day.  I wanted tonight to be really special for these guys.  I spent hours of my day baking a chocolate cake and I prepared cola flavored water.  But my heart was saddened.  I did not want this to be the last night.  I wanted to stay here forever and watch these young men continue to be transformed into men of God. 


This morning I had a vision of all of the guys singing and dancing.  That is my most favorite thing to experience in Africa.  To dance among the indigenous and listen to the power in their voices worshiping God.  It is a completely uninhibited sound and feeling of worship I have never experienced in America.  I must say this is one of the things that keep my soul longing to be in Africa. 


Last night after bible study I had to pull aside some of the problematic troublemakers, rebuke them and encourage them to walk in a righteous path.  I felt bad about it afterward, especially because this was not how I wanted to end my time here.  Then the Lord very sternly reminded me that He disciplines those He loves.  Then I felt peace about it.   My hope now was that they would still come to the final meeting and celebrate with us.


They did come and Sasha and I spoke to the group to encourage them all that God had a purpose and a plan for their lives and to never lose hope but keep their eyes set on Jesus; and dream Big.  Then we had prayer and shared the cake I made for them. 


We dished it out and there was a small piece left.  We handed the plate to the young man who had been stepping up in leadership.  All of the guys surrounded him and in a matter of seconds the plate that was once covered in a layer of frosting now looked like it had been washed clean.  Sasha and I stood in amazement and laughed.


We then all gathered in a circle and started to worship.  The guys took turns leading in song and dance and we all gathered in.  We had so much fun, I did not want it to stop.  I just imagine this is how worship is in Heaven and I could feel the Lord smile down on us from above. 


The night was coming to a close and Sasha and I stood in the middle of the circle as the guys prayed over us.  Afterwards we had to say goodbye to the guys.  The young man that was stepping into leadership asked us if we could tell the group he wanted to start assisting with the teaching.  A guy from the UK had arrived a few days earlier and said we could pass the torch off to him while he was here.  So we informed the group they would both be taking over the bible study group.  The guys started to oppose their peer but he stood firm and told me he would teach even if only one showed up.  I was very proud of him and I trust the UK missionary will teach him how to walk in the shoes of a leader through the Holy Spirit.  I can’t wait to find out what happens.


As I was about to say my last goodbyes I began to fight back the tears.  In that moment I said to the Lord, “Lord I would give up all my dreams, my desires, my life, joyfully, rejoicing, if only you would let me stay here and show your love to these young men so they can change this nation.”  That was the cry of my heart and I meant it with all my heart, my entire mind, and all my spirit.  I would give everything to stay here with them and pour out God’s love. 


Then the Lord spoke to me.  He reminded me that my prayer from before I arrived here was to experience a double portion of His Love.  He said, “This is My double portion, my pure heart, and I am pouring it out and giving it to you, this is what it feels like.  When you can lay down your life willingly with a joyful heart, mind and spirit, for the life of another.  This is my true heart and love and I am imparting it to you.  You will always know whom I have called you to by this outpouring of my love.  You will experience this with each one I send you to reach.  And you will impart my love to them through My Holy Spirit.” 


I was completely wrecked.  The pain I felt in my heart to leave these guys that I loved more than my own life…I just don’t have words to express what I felt in that moment, even now.  All I know is that I have been gloriously wrecked.  I am not the same person.  In an instant I am the remains of a person who has seen a glimpse of the Father.  My life will never again be my own.  I give it all to Him to do with as He pleases.  I will go anywhere and do anything He asks of me if only I can experience more of this flesh shattering love.  Everything else seems so meaningless.  Only His love has meaning.  Meaning that those who have had a glimpse of the Father can truly understand.


With His pure love the Heavens open up and the supernatural becomes the natural and the world as we know it slowly begins to fade into the landscape.  On earth as it is in Heaven becomes manifest where we can access it through the guidance of Holy Spirit.  My hunger and thirst has just become even more unquenchable.  Thank you Abba Father for your pure love, for drawing near to me as I draw near to you.  For answering my prayer and teaching me that your ways are so much higher than my own.  I will chase after you all the days of my life until I can finally be held in your arms. Nothing else matters more.  Here am I Lord, I am all yours, do with me, as you will.  Amen.


Tomorrow is my last day here before I journey to Zambia on my next mission.  I can feel in my spirit something powerful is going to happen tomorrow.  With a very humble heart and extreme anticipation I wait for tomorrow to come…for Holy Spirit to come and to answer my second prayer when I arrived here, that I may have the key to access the Kingdom of Heaven while I am here on earth…in faith I believe He will answer…so in anticipation I wait for tomorrow to come…

A very cool thing happened when we began these studies.

(Here is a passage from Sasha’s journal):

At the end of one of our teachings, we broke off into three small groups to pray.  One of the guys who is quiet and we don’t know too well yet, said that he had seen an Angel and had a message to share with us.  He spoke through a translator and said to Anita: “I saw an Angel stand before you and he looked into my eyes. As I looked into the angel’s eyes, the angel said to me: The Holy Spirit is with these girls.  God has given these white women the teachings in their hands. The angel instructed me that all of us guys should listen to what you have to say because He had given you the words to speak and poured into your hands all the teachings that you would impart to us.  The angel told me that the time is short so it is very important that we listen to all the words that you girls have to say because you will have to leave soon.”

In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people.  Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.  Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy.” (Acts 2:17-18).


2 Responses to “Disciple The Nations (The Final Message)”

  1. very cool thing 🙂

  2. Amazing…simply, utterly amazing

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